If I can’t be honest, I can’t heal or progress. If I can’t share exactly where I am, not just with the group, but more importantly with myself, how can I see what really needs to happen for me to progress? I lie (or rationalize, minimize, omit details, intellectualize, etc.) to myself and others because of shame. Ironically, being honest against the fear of shame in the safety of the group helps my shame disappear. I can share where I’m at (without graphic details) and what I am struggling with or am having success with and people start nodding their heads in understanding instead of running from the room in horror! No shame there. I can then learn to stop shaming myself and can then become impeccably honest. Then Christ can heal me.
If I go to the doctor and say “I’m OK – it’s not that bad” the doctor will ask me why I’m there and will send me on my way. The same seems to be true with my Heavenly Father – until I’m willing and able to be completely honest with myself and others, I can’t truly be honest with Him and He won’t reward my dishonesty by helping me. He seems to wait until I’m ready to come to Him (and myself and others) with the truth, then He starts working miracles. Also, I’ve heard it said by others: “If I tell the truth, it becomes part of my past. If I tell a lie, it becomes part of my future.”
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