Self-Care

Taking care of my spiritual, physical, social, and emotional needs has also been a huge part of recovery and enduring to the end for me.  I must study the scriptures and pray and do other things that nourish and strengthen my spirit to be able to turn away from temptation more effectively.  I must also take care of my body by getting enough sleep and healthy food at regular mealtimes.  I must also stay connected with others and stop isolating.  These needs are critical for me to fulfill the right way, so I don’t end up trying to fulfill them in the wrong ways.  Spencer W. Kimball once spoke about the result of unmet needs:

“Jesus saw sin as wrong but also was able to see sin as springing from deep and unmet needs on the part of the sinner. This permitted him to condemn the sin without condemning the individual.” – Jesus: The Perfect Leader – Ensign Aug. 1979

When I don’t take care of myself in these ways, temptations become more difficult to turn away from. In fact, not taking care of myself in these ways is usually the main cause of me being triggered.  If I skip breakfast, lust plagues me more that morning than if I had eaten a good breakfast. I don’t know why, but knowing why isn’t as important as just taking care of my needs because I know that works for me.

I had a friend once tell me that people’s basic needs fall into a few categories.  Looking at these categories helps me see if I’m missing any.  Here are the categories and a few examples in each:

1. Top-level needs
   1. 1. Feel happy
      2. Feel loved
      3. Feel capable
      4. Feel worth
2. Physical
   1. Food
   2. Water
   3. Sleep
   4. Exercise
3. Mental
   1. Learning
   2. Growing
   3. Rest
4. Emotional
   1. Self-esteem
   2. Positive emotions
   3. Happiness
5. Spiritual
   1. Scriptures
   2. Pray from the heart
   3. Comfort
6. Social
   1. Interact
   2. Connect
   3. Love
   4. Serve

The top level needs can’t be met directly, they can only be met by fulfilling the other needs.  When several of these needs go unmet, I start to feel unhappy or depressed and start looking for a way to stop feeling those negative feelings.  In the past, that usually meant resorting to an addiction to numb the negative feelings because I didn’t know how to fix the problem.  Now I am more aware that I need to go back through my needs and see which ones aren’t being met and then I can fix the problem at the source rather than numbing myself out.

Making sure my dailies meet a variety of these needs has been an important part of recovery for me and I need to keep revisiting them to make sure they’re still working for me where I am in recovery.  I was also told that it’s extremely difficult to know all of my needs and that I must work with the Spirit to be guided toward the unmet needs I cannot yet discern.

Author: Robert

I am a recovering addict and I love to share my experience with others so they can also experience the freedom I've found. View all posts by Robert