I’ve heard some people who have said, “I’m cured of my addiction to….” When I hear that, I just smile and nod. I congratulate them and keep my opinions to myself. My experience and my opinion though is that addiction to anything (porn, alcohol, drugs, etc.) is a chronic condition. This means it doesn’t go away but only goes into remission.
I am in remission from my addiction to porn, lying, etc. and have to continue to work at staying there. I feel it is very, very dangerous to think you are “healed” of the addiction and go on your merry way. This is a denial of the situation. You can change your habits, you can change your environment, and you can change your heart (with help) but you can’t change that you are and will always be an addict. To refuse to admit this is, in my opinion, akin to lying to yourself in a horrible way. It can lead to denial or justifications about other things and ultimately lead to acting out in a deeper or worse way than you did before.
When I accepted this fact into my life, I found it a lot easier to commit to going to meetings and keeping up on my dailies. Instead of searching for a cure and expecting one, I was able to know it is an ongoing journey. Things get better and better as time goes on and I get more practiced at sobriety. Knowing this is a chronic condition helps me to acknowledge that triggers will always be triggers and to always be watchful for patterns I would get into that would lead to acting out. It’s very easy to backslide and forget.
Like all the stereotypical TV shows and so forth say, “Admitting you have a problem is the first step.” Well, I’d continue that to say “and also admitting it isn’t just going to go away but needs constant maintenance.” Knowing the maintenance is necessary and is ongoing has let me relax and not feel stressed about an ending of it all. It can be hard for some addicts or their loved ones to realize this doesn’t just go away. It can be too much for some.
I didn’t want to have to admit to myself or others what I was or what I had. It was difficult to accept as a permanent thing but, as I’ve said, once I accepted it then I could move on to better things. It’s still a struggle and will always be one but it gets better every day with more practice, more support, and reaching out to help others as well as myself.
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