For Spouses, Families, and Friends of Addicts

I’m writing this to the wives of addicts since that’s the most common situation. The same advice is relevant for a husband if the addict is a woman. And all of this is helpful for any family member or friend of an addict.

First of all, there is great hope for freedom and happiness. There is a way out of addiction and hundreds of thousands of people have followed this path out. One important key is that the addict has to want to recover from his addiction before he can receive help and make real progress. If he doesn’t want to get well, it will be more difficult for him to get well. Sometimes just going to meetings unwillingly at first will help him gain the hope and humility needed to start the path of recovery. Many have started out this way.

Hopefully, he’s felt some of the pain of the addiction or the pain that it’s causing you and your family.  Hopefully, that pain can help him reach out to the links on the main page of this blog to find a meeting of Sexaholics Anonymous or the Addiction Recovery Program. Unfortunately, most of the pain is felt by the addict’s wife and family.

Sexaholics anonymous has a sister organization for family members of an addict called SAnon.  (It’s like Alanon for family members affected by addicts to alcohol.)  SAnon is where you’re going to find other spouses and family members of addicts in the exact same boat as you, who know exactly how you feel.  You’ll find support and also work on the best ways to support your spouse in recovery without engaging in what’s called codependency – having your happiness be dependent on your spouse not acting out his addiction.  Check out the article on Codependency. It’s powerful information that can help both of you be as happy as you can.  It’s counter-intuitive, but it can give you a lot of freedom and that ends up giving your spouse some freedom to be able to recover too.  You can find out more at the SAnon website and in the meetings.  The keys to both of your happiness will be in attending these meetings and learning your way out of addiction and into freedom.