There’s a mode that I get into where I’m searching for something. I’m usually feeling bad or fearful or stressed and I begin to search for something to help me feel better or stop feeling these negative things. I could be searching for apps for my phone, games to play, news to read, food to eat, lustful content, images of people in public or media, or just about anything. I call this search mode.
In search mode, it’s like I’m hunting for something. My chase reflexes are active and I’m probably getting an adrenaline hit while I do it. If I continue in this mode, getting this drug, then it will likely lead to more lustful searching later on so I can get dopamine and other chemicals going too.
So when I find myself looking for something, anything that’s not God, I identify that as idolatry – looking for something to help me instead of letting God help me – and I connect and surrender the search.
Sometimes I can search for things and it’s just fine. I’m not in search mode trying to get an adrenaline hit or to cover something up that’s uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s not compulsive. But it usually is. When it is, I get connected and find what I’m really looking for – healthy human connection, which is really also a connection with God – the one who can truly help me feel better in the long run.
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