Dailies

Traveling and Unstructured Time

When my surroundings or schedules change – usually by traveling somewhere or during a holiday season or weekend – triggers get stronger. Some boundaries that are generally in place, like Internet filters or TV channel filters, may not be in place in my new surroundings. Idle time is deadly. I’ve heard people say that Christ chose His disciples when they were at work and that Satan chooses his disciples when they are idle.

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The “Lust Balloon”

When I entered the program, I acted out almost daily. As I progressed, I would act out weekly, every two weeks, every month, etc. It seems to me as though I have some sort of capacity to hold lust within me – I’ll call it a lust balloon. Once I have filled this balloon with lust, I feel compelled to resort to my addiction by acting out my addictions physically.

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Surrender Before Sleep

I have learned to take a few minutes before bedtime and think back on the day to see if any triggering memories from the day pop up. I have learned that if anything pops up, I didn’t really let go of it during the day and so I have to let go of the thought or visual again and again until it stops coming back to my mind. See the Step 3 and Surrender articles for more detail around how to let things go, or surrender them.

When I do this, I have a purer sobriety and am much more lust free, and the lustful dreams don’t happen. Again, I don’t know how this works but it does. I talked to someone who was at an earlier stage of recovery who had tried this and they said that unless they were in a good place spiritually, thinking back on the day would bring up things that they were unable to let go of and it ended up making things worse. Through that experience, I have learned that I must be in a good spiritual place and must be able and willing to surrender my lust before I can use this technique successfully.

Self-Care

Taking care of my spiritual, physical, social, and emotional needs has also been a huge part of recovery and enduring to the end for me. I must study the scriptures and pray and do other things that nourish and strengthen my spirit to be able to turn away from temptation more effectively. I must also take care of my body by getting enough sleep and healthy food at regular mealtimes. I must also stay connected with others and stop isolating. These needs are critical for me to fulfill the right way, so I don’t end up trying to fulfill them in the wrong ways. Spencer W. Kimball once spoke about the result of unmet needs:

“Jesus saw sin as wrong but also was able to see sin as springing from deep and unmet needs on the part of the sinner. This permitted him to condemn the sin without condemning the individual.” – Jesus: The Perfect Leader – Ensign Aug. 1979

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Dailies are things I do each day to strengthen myself like prayer, scripture study, recovery work (the steps), connecting with my sponsor, etc.

Dailies take care of my needs through self-care. Physical, emotional, mental, social, and spiritual needs. Taking care of these needs is like eating good food. If I eat good food, I don’t think about dumpster diving for food. If I’m starving, the dumpsters start looking good.

When I relapse, one of the things I look at is how my dailies have been recently. If they’ve been lacking, I recommit to them.

Relapses and Triggers

A relapse is when I act out the addiction. A trigger is something that starts me down the path toward a relapse. Before I got into recovery, relapses and triggers were opportunities for me to beat myself up and hate myself. When I have a recovery program in place, relapses and triggers become learning opportunities. The main things ask of myself or others after a relapse or a big trigger are:

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