When my surroundings or schedules change – usually by traveling somewhere or during a holiday season or weekend – triggers get stronger. Some boundaries that are generally in place, like Internet filters or TV channel filters, may not be in place in my new surroundings. Idle time is deadly. I’ve heard people say that Christ chose His disciples when they were at work and that Satan chooses his disciples when they are idle.
Tag: Relapse
The “Lust Balloon”
When I entered the program, I acted out almost daily. As I progressed, I would act out weekly, every two weeks, every month, etc. It seems to me as though I have some sort of capacity to hold lust within me – I’ll call it a lust balloon. Once I have filled this balloon with lust, I feel compelled to resort to my addiction by acting out my addictions physically.
Dailies
Dailies are things I do each day to strengthen myself like prayer, scripture study, recovery work (the steps), connecting with my sponsor, etc.
Dailies take care of my needs through self-care. Physical, emotional, mental, social, and spiritual needs. Taking care of these needs is like eating good food. If I eat good food, I don’t think about dumpster diving for food. If I’m starving, the dumpsters start looking good.
When I relapse, one of the things I look at is how my dailies have been recently. If they’ve been lacking, I recommit to them.
Relapses and Triggers
A relapse is when I act out the addiction. A trigger is something that starts me down the path toward a relapse. Before I got into recovery, relapses and triggers were opportunities for me to beat myself up and hate myself. When I have a recovery program in place, relapses and triggers become learning opportunities. The main things ask of myself or others after a relapse or a big trigger are:
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