Admitted to God, ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
In my experience, it’s important to share my 4th step inventory with my sponsor first. This means someone who’s already been through their own 4th and 5th step and knows what it’s like to struggle with the addiction I struggle with. They are also someone who I don’t know outside of the group. This anonymity enables me to be fully open without fear of consequences. This helps me break through fear and denial to get absolutely everything out.
With that kind of person sitting in front of me as I get everything out in the open, it’s the most similar experience to sitting with Christ that I’ve experienced. Christ knows exactly how I feel and exactly how difficult this is. I feel guilty for what I’ve done, and I feel shame for who I think I am. The shame is a lie and is dispelled by bringing the shameful things into the light of the most Christlike person I can find – that’s my sponsor. Christlike in that he knows how I feel and what it’s like to be in my position and can embrace the shameful things because he’s already embraced his. It’s a powerful shame-destroying process to get all of these things into the light of another person who truly understands and to be accepted and respected by them. Rejection is what my shame promises, and acceptance destroys shame’s promises.
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